Crazy Story!

This is from the last letter I received from Elder Pierce. I couldn't believe this story while I was reading it but now that it's settled in and I realize there is nothing I can do about it. I'll share it with all of you. He actually asked me not to tell his family this story because he knew they might freak a little but I think it will be alright. here it is...

"Anyways I actually do have to tell you something pretty serious. You can't tell my mom or my family or anyone. Well there's this girl in our ward and she is always hitting on Elder Birningham and I and we don't know what to do. Her family is always inviting us over for dinner and this girl always sits by us. The last time we went over there I was sitting next to her and her parents left to go get the food and this girl put her hand on my leg and i was "like what the heck?" Sometimes she calls us at night. We don't answer of course. We told president and President said he's going to have to E.T. us, meaning emergency transfer us somewhere else." Crazy huh? well i'll write the rest of what he wrote in his letter.
oh yeah, and it was actually an april fools joke. he tricked me, did i trick you? So don't worry. it's fake.
"Well I won I think all my games in basketball today except 1 and we played a lot of games, it was pretty fun. Elder Karpowitz was getting pissed because his team kept losing haha.
So let's see what has been going on here, the transfer is like more than half over that's pretty crazy[...] So like I said in my email we set a girl for baptism and she's pretty excited. I don't think she knows what it means yet to be baptized or the commitment that she would aake, but we'll teach her. the first time we told her we wanted her to be baptized she was like "yeah i want to be baptized, how about next weekend?" we said "Woah, that's awesome, but we have to teach you first." She is really easy to teach but I think it's going to be a little bit harder to baptize her, just because of the people she hangs around but she's told us she wants to change so that's good. her name is Ashley, by the way. Her foster mom is way sweet she's a greek lady named Mrilyn Pierakkos. She is always giving us food, it's way nasty haha we don't ever eat it, is that bad?
So we don't really have much else. We're teaching this Turkish guy and his family but he's out of town till the 11th. we're also teaching this Lutheran couple I don't know if i told you or not. they are pretty smart and I think last time was the first time they came close to thinking about praying. They believe in the whole saved by grace thing and that's it. this last visit I asked them if a murderer that says he believes in christ and then right after goes and kills someone would go to the same place as someone who lived righteously and believed after death and she said yes. and on top of that if a person in China or Africa never heard about Jesus Christ but lived a good life where would he go? Merideth said "outer darkness." I think if they stopped and listened to themselves and opened their hearts a little they would feel the spirit, but they're still meeting with us so that's good.
Oh, let me tell you about another lady name Joann. She's another person we're teaching but she claims she will never convert. We actually haven't ever taughter her yet the other elders have, yesterday we met her for the first time. And I guess she wanted to see if we ever read the bible or something because she was like "So tell me what you know about Paul, he's a very important person in the NT ya know" (like we don't read the bible) so we answered and she was pretty impressed (the questions she asked could probably be answered by one of our primary children haha). She's way nice though and she said she was going to invite us to dinner so that's sweet. "